Crash

Weight: 161 lbs
Mood: Depressed
Medications Doxycycline twice per day

What happens when you take away a women's eggs and she had no polar bodies on her ovaries to produce progesterone....you get instant depression. Couple that with horrible cramps and issues using anything in the gut lower than the stomach = bad day.

Last night we went out to the Walldorff for dinner. For the first time in years I just let loose and pigged out. I felt so awful physically that I drowned myself in grease. My menu last night: 20 oz oatmeal stout, deep fried portabella fries with honey mustard dip, batter dipped Montey Cristo sandwich with raspberry sauce, big order of kettle chips and to top it off, coconut & pecan crusted vanilla ice cream snowball with fudge sauce. Oink, oink, oink. This is the type of food I used to eat at 270 lbs. I cannot remember a meal like this in the last three years hence the 161 lb weigh in.

I was hoping to sleep hard, went to bed at 8:30 pm, but as usual I was up before 5 am. I made sure I took the prenatel vitamins with stoll softener last night. Anything lower than stomach region is in total revolt. It hurts to do anything. It's like someone shoved a stick in my belly button and stirred it around.

I'm a stubborn cuss so I went to the gym this morning. Here I am, shuffling along, can't even stand up straight, in gym shorts and a tank wandering into a room full of sweaty adults pounding away on cardio machines. So what do I do? Park myself on the windjammer (think upper body bicycle) and proceed to slowly workout. Eventually went to find the seated stair stepper when I got bored. That was a hard workout but the hot shower afterward was glorious.

Work today has not been good, I'm in pain and my boss was upset that I missed a day. He was nicer when I reminded him that yesterday was surgery day....hello.

Another reason to be depressed: fertilization report. 18 pulled out of me, 15 good enough to mess with and only 8 fertilized. When they stripped the coverings off the 15 they found two more old maids and 3 immature. Two of them didn't bother to fertilize for us, leave 8. They said 4 where grade 1 and 4 where grade 2 at the two cell stage. Nurse#1 says they'll check on them again tomorrow, pull the frontrunners to take to blast and freeze the rest. She said I sould expect either two excellent grade embies or one good one and two average ones for next week.

I know everyone says that 8 is great, but what's gonna be left by Tuesday of next week. Don't get me wrong, I don't want 8 babies, but it just adds to the depression that our cushion of eggs/embryos dimishes every day. I wanted to have extra to share, now I might not have enough for just me. :(